If You Give a Boy Some Popcorn…

If you give a boy some popcorn,

he’ll want some more when he’s done.

When you tell him no, he’ll take matter into his own hands.

He’ll climb up on to the cabinets when no one is looking to get some more.

While he is up on the cabinet, he’ll see the toaster.

Seeing the toaster will remind him that toasters make things hot.

He’ll want hot popcorn.

So of course, he’ll stick the popcorn bag in the toaster and push the button.

Pushing the button will start a fire.

Which will in turn, burn the underside of the cabinets.

Seeing the fire will remind him of all the fires he’s seen with grandpa and get him all excited.

He’ll start yelling “pi-re! pi-re!”, but dad will think he’s saying “spider” and so ignore him.

Hearing all this yelling and smelling the smoke will make baby upset.

Hearing an upset baby will make mom run up the stairs.

Then, mom will start screaming and throwing open windows. Dad will come and save the day by taking the burning toaster outside.

Baby will want to go outside-and the boy will be upset by this.

An upset boy will push the baby off the deck, bloodying up his head.

Mom and dad will have to take the boy upstairs to time-out.

This will infuriate the boy even more…and an infuriated boy will rip off his child-proof locks, making it impossible to keep him in his room.

That night, mom and dad will have to screw off the doorknob on their door which has a lock, and screw it into the boy’s door.

Seeing all the shiny hardware will remind the boy about the shiny toaster…

and chances are, if he sees the toaster,

he’s going to want some popcorn.

This all happened last Sunday…a half-hour before we were supposed to be at church.

This Sunday, when the Primary children got up to sing for Mother’s Day, a fellow mother of a nursery child and I decided to let our little girl and boy go up with the kids. They peered over the banister…Mason started leading the music and tried to sing…and then the little girl grabbed Mason’s hands and started dancing in circles with him. I laughed so hard there were tears streaming down my face! I was laughing out loud in church and couldn’t stop…Them twirling so fast they fell down didn’t help matters either. So, even though he was a little devil last Sunday, this Sunday he was pretty darn cute, and I think, that just maybe…I’ll keep him.