January (Part Two)

Morgan William Stevens

Sunday, January 30th at 7am, Rob and I were at the hospital to start the process of bringing another one of God’s children to earth. There isn’t really a “story”; I was being induced so most of that day was spent playing the waiting game. About 8pm, though, I decided I was ready for an epidural. I was in sooo much pain, but my epi with Mason had hurt so badly that I kept putting it off. It was kind of a lose/lose situation in my eyes. I finally decided that the epi would only hurt for a short while and the labor pains may last for another 12 hours, so I called for the shot. When the anesthesiologist got there and was preparing my back I started to have a nervous break down. They gave me a pillow to hug to keep my hunched over and I buried my head in it and just started crying. Rob and the nurse had to keep telling me to breath because I was so nervous I was about to hyperventilate. I’m not a wuss; I’ve had shots my entire life, and they don’t bother me. But for some reason this just unnerved me to no end. The medical staff calmly told me several times exactly what was going to happen and what I was going to feel and I finally calmed down enough to get the shot. They had told me I may feel a kind of jolt-like feeling (like when you hit your funny bone), but they didn’t tell me not to move if I felt that. Well, I felt the jolt and my body automatically arched and the next thing I know the anesth(etc) and nurse are YELLING at me not to move. Loud yelling. “Don’t move! I have a GIANT needle in your back and I’m going to hit your spinal column!” etc, etc, etc. Well, it worked. I froze, and soon the ordeal was over and the anesthesiologist was out in the hall telling all the nurses how I made him crap his pants. I hate epidurals. Why can’t they be like any other shot? Anyway. I was at a 4.5 about the time I got the epi and by 12:30am he was ready to come. Morgan William Stevens was born at 12:50am, Jan. 31st. He was 8lbs 9oz, and 20 inches long. He wasn’t the giant baby my doctor and two peri’s had thought I was going to have (although he was still very large).

I had been nervous for several months now that I was not going to be able to love him like I love Mason, but I love him sooooooo much! More than I could have ever imagined. I can’t quit looking at him and cuddling him and talking to him. I’m slightly torn though because Mason does not understand why I can’t hold him like I used to. Last night Rob was taking him out for a walk and he was pulling on me to come but I had to feed the baby and he started to cry a little. After I got done feeding Morgan, Rob took Morgan and Mason and I went for a little walk together. He just held my finger in his hand and pointed at the moon and all the basketball standards and all the rocks and I felt a little sad that my time with just him had flown by so quickly, and that he would probably never remember that there was a time when it was just he and I. I love both of my boys so much though and feel I have been blessed beyond all expectations to have two such perfect little angels in my home. The selfish part of me never wants this part of life to end because right now they need me and love me and they are so innocent…but enough of me being emotional. I need to say "thank you" to my dear Mother-in-law and sister, Savannah, for watching Mason while we were in the hospital. Also, thank you to my wonderful mother for taking care of me, Morgan, Mason, our laundry, the food, etc our first few days home. I love you! Here are a few pics of Morgan and the fam. Thanks for reading!